I feel down. Now.
Am i depressed? nay..far from it. i think.
i remember the time when i thought i may be depressed. wasn't that long ago. was it?
it was a time when i realize how much a cry baby i am.
i cried on the way home from the train station, i cried while lying on my bed, i cried myself awake in the middle of the night and cried myself back to sleep, i cried in the shower where i can't make out if it's tears or just the running water, i fought crying while sitting at the back of my dad's car looking out of the window, i cried in the middle of brushing my teeth, i cried while i buried myself under my quilt, i cried while watching tv, i cried till i had no tears to cry any longer but i still can't stop crying.
was i depressed? nah..not proven "psychiatrically"
work was my solace. it's the only time i don't feel bad. i complain about it though but it keeps me going.
at the same time i guess i was lucky to have the right people around me, though they do not know exactly what i was going through but i guess they helped by just not giving me shit. i was shocked but ultimately glad my mum woke me up in the middle of the night to talk to me. i was lucky to get myself involved in something that puts me in a perspective i never had before. i was blessed to have a old friend whom even though i didn't use to meet that often before to talk to and share with. was fortunate to meet a new friend who brings comfort and sometimes inspire.
i'm glad i started blogging "again".
i don't feel that down. Now.