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Wednesday, March 25, 2009

out of sorts

am not feeling very patient. spinning a little. heating up.

will try to stay up late tonight even though body is telling me not to.

making trip down to library or kino tomorrow. not sure whether to go borrow or just buy the read. shall see.

hasn't been efficient this week. frustrations. just wanna leave it all.

idea of leaving is creeping in these days. do not think i am sick of the work. just not motivated as much?

even though it is a long weekend technically, don't feel that it is one in fact. just gotta do what is needed. commitment. sometimes that's just what it is, sometimes it means more.

some days i prefer to be the one i am not rather than be the one i am. at least that one is calm, collected, patient, listens, ambivalent, detached.

just wanted to get home quick. was about to flag a cab. some one caught up. wasn't aware the person was calling out to me. too distracted by spinning. ended up on the train. talked and tried my best to show involvement in conversation.

glad to be home. glad to have showered. glad to be doing this.

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